Admired From Afar
by Infinitypoet
Summary: This story is my story Secret Admirer written from Edward's POV! The story is set during Twilight just after the accident with Tyler's van. It is AU but hopefully in character! Sequel Revelations For My Beloved is up and completed!
1. Chapter 1

**WHOO-HOO! Here it is my story Secret Admirer written from Edward's POV instead of Bella's POV! You don't need to read Secret Admirer to understand. Thanks for reading! On with the story!**

**Diclaimer: I own nothing but my storyline. Twilight and all related characters belong to the wonderful Stephenie Myers.**

**Edward's POV: **

Ahh there it is the sound that foretells of my love's arrival. Soon the ancient red monstrosity will pull into the parking lot and she will emerge looking like the luminous angel that she is.

I will run at a human pace to her side, collect her in my arms then proceed to kiss her senseless until she is gasping for air then I will hold her close to my side as we walk into the school.

I will gently caress her soft warm cheek as I leave her at the door to her first class.

"Edward wait" she calls, speaking for the first time since arriving.

"Yes my love?" I'll answer. She will reach up onto her tiptoes and brush her full pouty lips across mine once more and whisper the most beautiful words that I have ever heard:

"I love you, Edward." I will growl in pleasure whispering back "As I love you my Bella."

If only it could be that way. My existence would have meaning but my family and I have agreed that I would stay away from Bella so that our secret would remain as such. That means

that when Bella arrives I will continue to do as I have done everyday since I saved her from Crowley's van, I will appear to ignore her while secret watching everything she does through

the minds of the lucky teenagers that interact with the girl that has quickly became the center of my universe.

I watched Bella get out of her truck through the mind of Mike Newton. His mind is a veritable sewer, but as it was he was the only one paying attention to my angel. She had the most

adorable scowl on her face as she gazed around the parking lot. I wondered what she was seeing that was making her so unhappy. I wanted nothing more in that moment than to make

her smile but as I said before it was forbidden. She continued look around and her eyes met mine for the briefest of moments but I could have sworn that my dead heart skipped a beat in that moment.

As usual I sifted through the minds of those humans that my angel graced with her presence only to find myself battling against my inner monster. It seems that Tyler Crowley, Eric Yorkie

and that insufferable Mike Newton were planning to ask to ask my Bella to the Valentine's ball. Jealousy and rage fueled the monster but I quickly reined it in so that I could observe

Yorkie as he approached her.

_Okay man just calm down. She listens to you when you talk and she smiles at you. She must like you right? So take a deep breath and just do it._

"Hey Bella, I was just wondering if you'd like to go to the ball with me on Saturday?"

_Don't say no, don't say no, please._

He looked at Bella with a hopeful gaze but she grimaced at him.

"I'm sorry Eric but I'm not going to the ball, I don't dance." She said sweetly.

He averted his eyes to his shoes muttering that he understood and all but ran to take his seat across the room.

_It's not you dude she just doesn't dance. _His thoughts remained hopeful.

I spent my whole first period pondering this. Did she say no simply because it was a dance that he was asking her to or did she refuse because she didn't return his affections.

If only I could hear her thoughts.

Tyler Crowley was next to make his move on my angel. His thoughts were cocky. He was used to girls falling over themselves when he asked them out on dates.

_Ah there she is, time for the T man to go to work. _

"Bella, I assume you haven't got a date to the ball yet because I haven't asked you yet. I know you've been holding out for a real man to ask and well here I am.

What time should I pick you up?"

The look on her face was priceless. She looked at him as if he had grown a second head.

"Well since I'm not going to the ball at all I guess never would be a good time." She huffed. I could tell that she was getting annoyed. My girl didn't like to be the center of attention.

Crowley's thoughts were jumbled. He kept vacillating between anger and amusement that she had rejected him. By the end of the period he had concluded that it was her loss and made

his way to his next class to ask Lauren Mallory to the dance. Human males can be so fickle.

Newton spent the next hour staring at Bella trying to drum up the courage to ask her to the ball. He had heard of the failure of the others from Jessica Stanley. He deluded himself into

thinking that Bella was waiting for him. He assumed that she preferred him to her other suitors. He spent a few moments considering his rivals and how superior he was to them. He

briefly considered me but came to the conclusion that I had already had my chance to impress Bella but fail so it was his turn.

It made me wonder if I did in fact have a chance with Bella. I know I have to stay away from her but did she want me to? It didn't matter; I have to stay away for her safety as well as my

family's well being. I had to consider that maybe Newton's invitation was the one she had been waiting on. Could I sit be and watch the woman that I adore go out with that vile

creature? No I don't want to but I may have to.

Bella looked unusually annoyed when she entered the cafeteria. She got no food and went directly to the table that she shared with her friends. She sat beside Angela Webber, a very

kind minded girl, and laid her head on the table.

_Bella looks so upset. I hope she's feeling okay. _

"Are you okay?" she asked kindly.

Bella sighed and raised her head to meet Angela's gaze.

"I supposed but I get the feeling that my day is going to get a whole lot worse. Eric and Tyler have already asked me to the 'I'm in love with you but I'll only act like it today because I'm

supposed to' dance and Mike has been staring at me and I just know he's planning to ask me too. Why can't they just leave me alone?" she ranted.

_Poor Bella, how many times does she have to tell Mike that she's not interested before he gets it? What did she call him again? Oh yeah a golden retriever! I wonder if all this attention is why _

_she doesn't like Valentine's Day._

So Bella isn't interested in Newton after all. She called him a dog. I smiled to myself, my love is very observant.

"I take it Valentine's Day isn't your favorite holiday." Angela said with a smile.

Bella shook her head and smile weakly before replying.

"No I guess not. I just think if you love someone you should show them everyday not just a day designated by the greeting card companies. Not that I would know, I mean I've never had

a boyfriend but I do love someone or at least I think I could love someone."

I saw through Angela's eyes that Bella had stolen a quick glance in my direction. Could it be that she holds some sort of affection towards me. My chest tightened at the thought.

My angel may care for me.

_Poor girl has it so bad for Edward Cullen. I hope she finds a way to tell him. They would make such a cute couple._

Angela smiled at my love but didn't voice her opinion out loud. Bella dropped her head back to the table and I let my mind drift to a world where I could have Bella as my very own.

I decided that if she did in fact turn Newton down I would find a way to show her how much she means to me.

_Oh Edward, finally. _Alice's thoughts screamed at me. I smiled at my favorite sister and made my way to biology where I would sit by my angel and ponder ways to make her mine.

I took my seat to wait for Bella and was assaulted by the audacious thoughts of Mike Newton. He was walking Bella to class. He had finally gotten the nerve to ask her after getting a

first hand account of the monumental failures of his friends. He was practically bouncing down the hall.

His arm shot out in front of him preventing Bella from entering the classroom.

"What is it Mike?" Bella fumed. She looked livid as he looked at her longingly.

His thoughts were arrogant.

_She totally wants me. I can so tell._

"Well, I heard that you shot down Crowley and Yorkie today by saying that you weren't going to the ball and well, I was wondering if maybe you'd change your mind if I was to ask you.

I mean I am asking you. We have something here Bella and I'd like to start exploring it this Saturday and I know you do too." He wiggled his eyebrows at her and her expression

changed. Her face lit up with a radiant smile and I was worried that she was going to except his invitation after all. That line of thinking was quickly squashed as she began to laugh.

Her laughter was such a beautiful melody to my ears. I could listen to it forever.

"I'm sorry Mike, but the answer is no." She managed to get out between giggles.

Her laughter was infectious and it was all I could do not to laugh along with her as she took her seat next to me.

I fixed my eyes on the board in the front of the class trying my best to block out all of the thoughts around me so that I could concentrate on my plans. I vaguely remember the bell ringing

and making my way to my car not even bothering to go to Spanish. By the time my siblings got into the car I had my plans finalized. I was going to anonymously court one Ms. Isabella

Swan and hope that in the end she would return my affections.

_I can't wait to meet her Edward. She is going to love everything you have planned. She is going to be my best friend and what's even better is I'm getting a new sister._

Alice gushed as we pulled into the garage at home. I went for a quick hunt so that I wouldn't be tempted by her scent and then I set my plan in motion.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I'm not sure if this chapter will make too much sense to those reader that haven't read Secret Admirer so if you find you have questions feel free to PM me! Thanks for reading.**

**Disclaimer: Oh by the way, I don't own Twilight but I do own some Twilight merchandise ;)**

It was just after midnight when I arrived home. I made my way up to my room to look for the necklace that would perfectly match the diamond that I had gotten today. It was a thin silver

rope chain that would hang just above Bella's collarbones. I smiled just thinking about how lovely it would look on her. I hurried to Carlisle's study to use his computer to prepare the

letter that would accompany my gift. The rest of the family had gone out hunting so I knew that I wouldn't be disturbed. So I slowed down and took my time making sure the note was

exactly vague enough so that she wouldn't know that it came from me until the right time. It was almost three when I finished so I quickly changed clothes and ran through the forest to

my love's house. Her scent permeated the air in such a way that I felt myself become slightly intoxicated by it. I knew it was wrong and I chastised myself for doing it but in the end I

couldn't have been more elated that I had done it as I gently lifted the second story window and slid silently into my love's room.

I looked around the room trying to get a sense of just what made her tick. I longed to know what thoughts she kept hidden from me. I hoped that being here would somehow unlock her

secrets. I was just beginning to peruse her bookshelf when she drew my attention to her small form lying in her bed. She was truly the most magnificant creature in existance. She was

beyond beautiful bathed in moonlight. She was tossing and turning and mumbling incoherently in her sleep. Her sheet was tangled around her and she had kicked her blanket into the

floor. I took a step closer to the bed slowly to gage my reaction to getting closer to her scent. I decided that I could handle the close proximity and reached for her sheet cover up back

up. She rolled over onto her back and whispered my name. I paused. Had I woken her? Would she scream? I looked tentatively up to her face to find that she was still sleeping. I sighed

in relief then realized that that meant that she was dreaming of me. I hope it wasn't a nightmare. I wouldn't be surprised if it was I was a monster after all. I bent to retrieve her blanket

and she said my name again only this time it was accompanied with a sigh and a giggle. It sounded like she was dreaming a rather happy dream of me. I smiled smugly to myself. I gently

covered her with her blanket before turning to leave. She gasped and I thought for sure she was awake this time. I turned slowly to see that she was still sleeping but she had extended

here hand towards me.

"Edward…stay….please" she whispered. I took a moment to center myself and returned to her bedside. I very carefully laid her hand back onto her bed so that she wouldn't wake up with

a cramp tomorrow. I leaned in closer to her and brushed my lips against her forehead.

"Forever, my love. "then I turned and made my way to her window. I took one last look at her and jumped from her window.

I quietly opened her truck door listening to the thoughts around me to make sure I wouldn't be caught breaking into the police chief's daughter's truck. I laid the black box, containing my

mother's diamond pendant that I had retrieved from my safety deposit box in Seattle, onto the worn seat of Bella's truck and reread the note once more to make sure it was perfect.

_**Bella,**_

_**I am saddened to know that Valentine's Day holds no joy for one such as you. Please accept this small token of my affection and know that my devotion to you prevalent 365 days a year. February 14th shall be the day I begin to prove these words. Until then, look after my heart I left it with you.**_

_**Forever yours,**_

_**Me**_

It was perfect. I went for another quick run before I headed back home to get my car and head off to school.

Alice was pacing in the foyer when I arrived home.

_It's about time Romeo. I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to leave. I can't believe you kissed her. I am so proud of you. Now do it while she's awake already! _She squealed in her thoughts.

I sighed and just shook my head. Alice could be so annoying for someone so small, but oh what I wouldn't do to be able to press my lips that those belonging to my angel. When we

arrived at school it was alomst time for class so my siblings hurried off to class. I stood by my car waiting for her to arrive.

_Good luck loverboy_. Alice called in her head as she danced off woth Jasper. You have to love that pixie sister of mine.

**A/N: Okay the rest of this chapter will be from Bella's POV it was in Edward's in the original story so I switched it. I assumed that nobody wanted to read the same text over **

**again even if it was from Edward! So sorry for the interruption. On with the story. **

**Bella**:

I was floating on air all the way to school. I knew I had a goofy grin on my face but I couldn't find it in me to care. I had just received a stunning necklace and a note where some mystery

man had declared himself to me. I looked at the necklace one last time in the rear view mirror before getting out my truck. I realized that I was almost late because there was hardly

anyone left in the parking lot. I noticed that Edward Cullen was standing by his car and I wondered briefly if he had been waiting for me. I smiled even more at that thought before I

dismissed it. He was probably just late too.

I saw Angela on her way to class and hurried to catch up with her.

"So, guess what happened to me today." I smiled.

"Judging by the look on your face I'm going to say it's got nothing to do with Valentine's Day." She laughed.

"Wrong," I smiled as I riffled through my bag to get the note. I handed it to her just as we sat down in class.

I watched as her eyes got wider as she read and it caused me to flush with excitement all over again.

"This was with it" I stated and held out the heart for her to see, "Isn't it beautiful!" I exclaimed!

"Absolutely, who do you think it's from?" she questioned.

I thought for a moment, wondering if I should say but decided that since Angela already knew about my crush on Edward it would be okay to tell her.

"Well, you know who I want it to be from, but you also know that I think he hates me. So, I'm not getting my hopes up." I sighed.

"Oh, Bella I don't think Edward" she made a point to whisper his name "hates you Maybe he's just shy or doesn't know how to talk to you. Just be patient."

Angela always knew how to make me feel better.

"Thanks, Ang, I'm just glad I have something to look forward to on Valentine's Day."

I continued to stroke the crystal heart drifting into a world where it could be Edward that was my secret admirer. I honestly couldn't tell you what happened the rest of the school day,

but I can tell you that my imaginary Edward was a wonderful kisser.

If today was any indication of things to come, this is going to be one heck of a week!


	3. Chapter 3

***Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight but I do own a wide range of Twilight merchandise ;)**

Today had started out as one of the best in my long miserable existence but it has quickly turned into a debacle. I pinched the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger and sighed.

"I know it was you Edward, I've seen that diamond before. How can you just give it away to someone you barely know? You are a fool and she is nothing but a pitiful human."

I growled at the way Rosalie sneered human. My Bella is much more than some mere human. She is everything.

"For the last time Rose her name is Bella and I will give whatever I want to whomever I please so just mind your own business." I ran my hand through my hair trying in vain to remain calm.

_You need to get out of here and calm down. Alice and I will go with you._

"Let's go hunting." Jasper suggested as he sent another strong wave of peacefulness throughout the room.

I nodded and we were off. We caught the scent of a herd of deer and quickly took them down. We sat down by the river, none of us in any hurry to go back home and face Rose again.

We sat in silence just watching the nocturnal animals begin to stir. I used this time to think about what Rose had said before we left. I guess I'd have to agree with her that I didn't know

the trivial things about my love but I knew the important ones. The more I thought about the more I realized that I wanted to know everything there was to know about Isabella Swan.

Now I just had to find a way to get my answers without revealing myself to soon. I was lost in my reverie until Jasper spoke causing my to snap back into reality.

"So, what do you have planned next in your quest to win the heart of you human?" "Bella, and I'm not sure. I need to find a way to get to know her better without talking to her. I know it sounds crazy right?"

"Well, I've known you were crazy since the first moment I set eyes on you but I think it is totally romantic what you are doing for Bella." Alice gushed.

_It would be so simple to get the answers if there was some mutual friend that could get involved and ask for you. _

"Angela" Alice and I said at the same time. She must have seen my decision as soon as I had made it.

I excused myself and hurried back to the house. I avoided Rose and Emmett and settled myself in Carlisle's study for the night. I quickly typed out a note asking Angela for her help I

decided against hand writing in case she showed the note to Bella because she had seen my handwriting and might make the connection. I spent the next few hours constructing a list of

things that I wanted, no needed to know about my Bella.

I decided what my next gift for Bella would be and poured my heart out in another note for my love. I decided to give her a small clue as to who I was this time.

**My dearest Bella,**

**These flowers pale in comparison to your beauty. Your very presence intoxicates me. I decided that I should give you a clue as to my identity. I hope it isn't too vague. I held you by my side once. I hope you figure it soon my love. I hope that you enjoy the flowers. I will love you forever or until the last one of them dies. Two more days until the 14th and that means two more chances to figure out my identity before we attend the ball together.**

**Always yours,**

**Me**

I put notes in my binder and rushed my siblings to get to school early.

* * *

There wasn't hardly anyone there when we arrived. I slipped into the school and quickly deposited my note and the questions list in Angela's locker.

I called the florist to request a dozen red roses, one of which to be made of velvet. I let them know that I would be there to pick them up at noon. I decided that I could skip lunch today and the mental attack on my character from Rosalie.

I focused in on Angela's mind as I sat down in first period. Bella was sitting with her smiling and blushing as Angela relayed the contents of my note to her. She asked Bella everyone of

my questions and I pleased to find out that roses were indeed her favorite flower. I was intrigued by the expression on Bella's face when she told Angela that her favorite gemstone was

topaz. She blushed a beautiful crimson and stroked her diamond absently. I wanted desperately to know why it embarrassed her but knew I could never ask. Wouldn't that be a

wonderful conversation starter, so Bella, I was listening into your discussion with Angela this morning through her thoughts and I was just wondering why you flushed so deeply over a

silly thing like your favorite gemstone. How did I hear her thoughts you ask, well I'm a mind reading vampire, of course. Oh, yes that would be an excellent ice breaker.

I had to stifle a laugh at my own musings. I focused on Angela again just as they were discussing the reasoning behind my anonimity and Bella's thankfulness that I didn't involve the

creatures know as Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory.

Angela dutifully left a list of Bella's answers on her desk as my note had asked. I didn't really need it since I heard the whole conversation in her thoughts but I couldn't very well tell her

that. I swept into the classroom as soon as the girls left and retrieved the list.

I sped from the school as soon as the lunch bell rang and was at the florist just as the clock struck noon. I carefully inspected each of the flowers in Bella's bouquet before I thanked the

gentleman behind the counter paid and hustled back to school just as lunch was ending. I slipped the note into the roses and placed them into Bella's locker before making my way to

biology. I spent the whole hour trying to remain in control and not blurt out that I was her secret suitor. I wanted her to know how much I adored her and it was getting harder by the

minute with her seated so close to me.

I waited by my car for her to exit the school at the end of the day and I was beyond thrilled when she emerged carrying her flowers wearing the most exquisite smile I had ever seen.

I was so wrapped up in watching my angel that I didn't notice my siblings approach until Alice tapped my shoulder.

I jumped and Emmett laughed.

"Wow, you must really be hung up on this girl. I don't think anyone has ever snuck up on you before have they Edward?"

I shook my head absently and slid into the driver's seat of the Volvo.

"It's going to be sunny tomorrow so no school" Alice announced as we pulled into the garage. I was suddenly depressed. I wouldn't see Bella for more than 24 hours. Unless…

_You're going to watch her sleep tonight and tomorrow night. I've already seen it. It will be completely safe for both of you._ I smiled at the idea of spending another night in my love's room.

"Oh Edward tomorrow we are going shopping for Bella's ball gown! It will be perfect shopping weather in Seattle and we'll be back in time to leave it at her house before she gets home."

Alice spoke so fast that it was hard for me to catch it all as she bounce excitedly up and down on the balls of her feet.

I sat in my room listening to music until I was sure that Bella would be sleeping before I silently crept into her bedroom window. I noticed that she had again tossed her covers to the

floor and gently covered her with them and placed a small swift kiss to her forehead again. I sat in the rocking chair in the corner of the room by the window and kept a vigil over my

angel's sleeping form. She spoke my name again and I realized that even if I lived to be a thousand years old I would never tire of hearing her say my name. I closed my eyes smiling to

myself as I waited for the sun to rise knowing that I would return tomorrow night and possible every night from now on because this is where I belong. I took a deep breath letting her

scent wash over me reveling in the sweetness of it. The burn was painful but my mind deemed in necessary because the fire in my throat meant that she was safe and I would do

anything to keep her that way. I am a demon protecting an angel. I actually laughed out loud at the thought. I quickly departed from her window as the sun began to rise over head.

I paused on the window sill glancing over my shoulder at my love once more.

"See you tonight my love" I whispered and headed out to meet Alice for a day of shopping**.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Twilight and all related characters belong to Stephenie Meyers. I only borrow them from time to time. I also don't own Finding Nemo!**

Alice and Jasper were waiting for me in the living room when I arrived home. I held up a finger letting them know that I'd be back in a moment. I rushed up the stairs and changed my clothes. I didn't even want to think about what Alice would do if I tried to wear the same clothes two days in a row.

_Hurry up Edward, the sun will be shining over Forks in exactly fifteen minutes and we need to be on the highway by then._

They were already in the backseat of the Volvo waiting by the time I go to the garage.

"Seattle Jeeves" Jasper said in a snobbish accent as he waved his hand in a dismissive gesture.

I chuckled at his antics and started the car. There wasn't much conversation on the drive to the mall. Everyone was too wrapped up in their own thoughts. Jasper was worrying about the large number of tasty humans that would be out shopping today. He was trying to prepare himself for the assault on his senses while trying to convince himself that humans were friends not food.

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped me when he had this particular thought. I remembered the way Emmett had forced us all to watch Finding Nemo with him. He went around for weeks saying Nemo touched the butt. Jasper on the other hand adopted the shark Bruce's philosophy, fish are friends not food but changed fish to people. He had been using the phrase daily ever since.

Alice was envisioning herself in all of the new fashions that she was going to be buying today. Somewhere in her fashion show I caught a glimpse of Bella. She was wearing a dark blue ball gown and was spinning in a circle as if she were showing it off to someone. I gasped when I saw the smile on her face. She was radiant.

Alice must have heard the sound because she quickly turned her thoughts back to herself and the new shoes she was hoping to find today.

I spent the rest of the drive daydreaming. I imagined myself holding Bella close as we glided across the dance floor; the feel of her skin through the satin of her dress as my fingers brushed over her back as I spun her around the floor. I could almost smell her hair as I saw myself lean down to kiss her forehead.

I heard Jasper laugh in his head.

_What's all that about Edward? I don't think I've ever felt you feel all romantic and mushy before._

"Shut it Jazz" I snarled as I pulled in to the parking garage of the mall.

It is a good thing that vampires don't need to rest because Alice is relentless when she is 'in the zone' as she called it. We had visited almost every single store in the mall and it wasn't even noon yet. We had purchased the suit that I would be wearing but we had yet to find the dress from Alice's vision. I was just a bout to suggest that we head to a different shopping mall when Alice squealed with delight and ran over to a window display.

She was beaming and bouncing up and down. Her thoughts were full of pictures of her and Jasper in different states of undress so I quickly retreated from her mind.

Jasper placed his hands on her shoulders to try to calm her enthusiasm. She smiled up at him and pointed towards the store window. His eyes bugged out as he followed her finger with his eyes.

I cringed when I saw the tiny green underwear set that they were both looking longingly at. I groaned disgustedly at them when they both started to imagine what my sister would look like wearing it.

"Could you at least try to control your thoughts?" I snapped as Jasper began undressing her in his head.

"Sorry" they both answered sheepishly. I sighed as their thoughts became bearable again.

Alice grabbed Jasper's hand and began pulling him into the store.

"Come on Edward" Jasper called. If I have to endure this then so do you.

"No way" I scoffed. I wasn't getting even one step closer to that lingerie store.

"I will wait right her on this bench thank you very much."

Alice released Jasper and stalked over to me very slowly like I was her prey and I would try to escape the moment she made her move. She wasn't far off.

"Edward" she sang as she sat down next to me, "please be reasonable about this. Bella is going to need the proper foundation garments to assure that the dress fits properly and I would assume that you'd want to be there when I pick them out so that I don't go over board." She finished with a small smile and gave me a look that was too innocent.

Her mind began to rifle through images of Bella wearing different styles of respectable underwear. I'd like to say that I will pick something like that but if I have my way I'll get something like this she thought and then flashes Bella in the skimpiest and most racy pieces of lingerie had ever seen flitted quickly through her mind.

I growled at her. There was no way I'd let my Bella wear any of that stuff unless she was modeling it for me.

NO! Where did that come from? I chalk it up to being around Emmett to much.

The more I thought of it the more the more clear it became that I definitely needed to go in with Alice to make sure she didn't buy my angel underwear that was meant for a devil. Well at least that's why I convinced myself I was going in. It was absolutely not because of the image of Bella wearing one of the racier pieces was forever burned into my mind.

"Good afternoon sir. What can I help you with today?" _Like maybe rip those uncomfortable clothes of that luscious body of yours._

The sales associate looked me over like I was cattle at a livestock auction.

"Nothing, I am just browsing for my girlfriend." I lied. If only Bella was my girlfriend.

"Okay we then let me know if there is anything I do for you" she smiled as she walked away. I shuddered as I heard the things she wanted to do for me in her mind.

As I was scanning the racks with Alice looking for something for Bella I heard a voice that equally grinded on my nerves and made me nauseous; Mike Newton. I listened closer and found that he was here in this store with Tyler Crowley. They apparently were skipping school today.

"Ok dude what about this one?" Crowley called as he held up a bright red corset.

"Mallory, definitely Mallory." Newton smirked. Crowley nodded his agreement and they went through the same process about five more times before they came across a light pink chemise.

"Hey Mikey, I was think swan for this one how about you?" Crowley called imagined my Bella wearing it.

"Oh yeah that's her." Newton purred while thinking of Bella in a compromising position with him while wearing the barely the lace in Crowley's hand.

I saw red.

I was just about to pounce on him when Jasper caught me around the waist and began dragging me out of the store. Alice instructed him to take me to the car and keep me there while she went after Bella's dress. Jasper and I watched in total shock as she flitted into the very first store that we had gone to this morning. We heard her asking the sales clerk for the dress that she had ordered last week as Jasper pushed me out of the front doors of the mall.

Alice is truly an evil pixie.

Jasper laughed heartily at me when I explained to him why I flew off into a jealous rage at that vile loathsome Mike Newton.

"Tough break there Romeo. I'd hate to know exactly what goes on behind the lusty feelings I get from guys when they look at my Alice. It must be hell." He managed to choke out between fits of laughter.

I refused to speak to either of them on the way home. I was dwelling on the fact that my own brother had made fun of me and my sister had tricked me into spending the day shopping.

It was almost time for school to be over when we arrived at the house. Alice already had a note to Bella prepared and had sealed it in an envelope. She assured me that the note was just instructions on where to place the dress so that she could get it altered if there was a problem with the fit.

I was a little reluctant to believe her but I knew I didn't have time to write my love a suitable note today and get the dress to her house before she arrived home from school so I took Alice's card and attached it to the dress box and ran with it to Bella's house.

I had just returned to the forest at the edge of her yard when she pulled into her drive. I watched her take the dress inside and was very surprised when I overheard her calling Angela Webber. I waited in the shadows until Angela arrived and I had to forcefully hold myself in place when my angel opened the front door looking like a goddess in the most magnificent royal blue gown I had ever seen. Alice's vision didn't do her justice.

"Oh Bella it's stunning" Angela cried excitedly.

"Stunning is an understatement" I added under my breath.

Bella blushed at her words then she did a quick turn and giggled as she stepped aside to allow Angela into the house.

I smiled knowing that she liked the dress and it looked perfect on her. I left my love and her friend alone to enjoy their afternoon knowing that as soon as she was asleep I would be back. I silently wished for time to speed up so that it would be Saturday already as I ran home.

I couldn't get the image of Bella spinning in her dress from my mind and I know that I wore a goofy grin for the rest of the evening but I honestly couldn't bring myself to care.

The dress was hanging on Bella's open closet when I slipped into her room. I smiled at the memory of her giggling while wearing it and gently ran my hand over the fabric feeling some of the residual heat left from Bella's skin. Her smell lingered on the dress as well. I inhaled deeply taking in the scents of satin, silk and Bella.

I sank into what was rapidly becoming my usual place in the rocker and waited for the talking to begin. I wasn't disappointed with her dreaming. She called out of me three times. At one point she smiled and said I'd love to dance Edward. I wanted nothing more than to be able to see her dream.

I idly wondered if my daydream and actual dream were anything alike. I'd like to think they were. I kissed her hair and jumped from her window just as the dawn was breaking. It was pouring rain and I was looking forward to school.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or Edward Cullen :( On the bright side i do own An Edward Cullen fleece throw blanket so I can technically snuggle with him any time I want ;P**

I drove by Bella's house on my way to school just to make sure that the gown was sitting on the front porch as Alice had directed Bella to do in case the dress didn't fit. I smiled as I heard the sound of books and papers hitting the floor. She must have dropped her bag. My Bella is such a klutz.

_Can we just go to school all damn ready?_ Rose screamed mentally. I glared at her in the rearview and sped off to school.

"We're having the senior members of the student council pass out the tickets at lunch today. So this morning will be the time we are going to sell advance tickets. Please try to remain here until the last bell rings so that any late comers have their chance." Mrs. Cope informed the two boys that were manning the ticket table for the Valentine's ball and I realized that I hadn't bought Bella or myself a ticket yet.

I didn't just want to give her a ticket on it's own I wanted to add it to our little intrigue. So I rushed to the school's computer lab and poured my heart out on paper.

_**My beautiful Isabella, what can I do to make you see?**_

_**I am awed by the mere thought of you**_

_**My fair Isabella, you are a wonder to me.**_

_**You captivate me with everything you do**_

_**Sweet loving Bella, you are a miracle to me**_

_**My life, my heart, my love I pledge to you**_

_**To speak these words to you would be heavenly**_

_**This vow I make to you; I will forever be true**_

_**I long to hold you close, to feel your warmth next to me**_

_**To confess this out loud would make my heart beat anew**_

_**Until then my Bella please hear my unspoken plea**_

_**Be safe my love, tread safely in all you do.**_

Satisfied with my declaration to my beloved I decided that I would give her the clue that would surely point her in my direction.

**_Hello my love, I trust you're day is going well. I assume you like the dress since it wasn't on your doorstep this morning. I have one more gift for you but it will arrive tomorrow. The gift I give today is from my heart. I have a clue to my identity for you as well. I trust that you will figure it out before tomorrow. Here is your clue: We pretend not to notice each other._**

I reread the note and the poem before rushing back to buy my tickets. I requested that my ticket be given to Alice and that Bella's be added to an envelope along with the notes.

I got back to the parking lot just as my love was pulling into the parking lot. She sighed happily and giggled. I looked up noticing that she was looking directly at my sister.

She and Alice were smiling at each other like they were the best of friends. I tried to get into Alice's head to see if I could figure out what brought this on but she was translating Gives You Hell by All-American Rejects into German. I wonder what she's hiding.

I spent the rest of the morning trying to get a look into Alice's head but every time I'd concentrate on her I would be stuck listening to her singing some top 40 song in a foreign language. I will have to say that her rendition of Britney Spear's Circus into Russian was quite interesting. Как раз как цирк indeed. **(A/N: this is Russian for 'just like a circus')**

I was on edge by the time I got to the cafeteria. What if she hated the poetry? What if the idiots in the student council told her who it was from? And worst of all would she reject me once she knew it was me?

Half way through the lunch hour the student council began handing out tickets. I watched as my ticket was delivered to Alice who smiled and thanked the boy that gave it to her. The poor guy almost fainted.

_Holy crap Alice Cullen smiled at me. What I wouldn't give to be her boyfriend. Th blond dude ain't got nothing on me._

I chuckled at his thoughts but an angry thought caught my attention.

_Oh hell no! Bella lied to me._ Eric Yorkie. He wasn't as bad as Newton but he still grated on my nerves.

"I thought you weren't going" He all but yelled at Bella.

"I wasn't but I got an offer that I couldn't refuse" she replied as she and Angela laughed.

_So your human has a thing for the godfather huh?_ Emmett thought and I smiled at him and the sound of my angel and her one true human friend laughing.

_She's looking over here Edward._ Jasper told me and I arranged my features so as to not give away that I heard her quietly laughter.

"Just who did this irresistible offer comes from?"_ It better not be Crowley I will kick his butt. He knows I have dibs on her._ Newton.

"Yeah Bella, I'd like to know that myself." _Freakin' Newton I bet it's him and he asked her to lie. At least I know I can take her from him. He's a jerk._

"Like you are so much better Crowley," I mumbled.

Jasper and Emmett laughed guessing why I was muttering about Tyler Crowley.

"That's just it guys, he's keeping his identity a secret." Bella said with a chuckle.

"Oh, that's romantic!" Jessica screeched. _She's not even pretty why does everyone fall all over her?_

"Whatever, it's probably some nerd." Lauren said in a tone laced with boredom. Her thoughts were pretty much the same as her spoken words.

"I can't believe you're falling for that! Any guy who is too scared to come right out and ask you out has to be a loser. Newton Offered. Yorkie and Crowley were nodding their heads in agreement with Newton's last statement so hard that the looked like bobble head dolls.

_I bet it's Cullen. It has to be. He is such a freak. He better leave my girl alone._

It took a lot of self control not to walk over to that table and rip Newton's useless head off of his shoulders when he called Bella his girl. As it were I di let a small warning growl slip through but it wasn't loud enough for him to hear me. Too bad.

"I happen to think it is truly romantic and I think that he's just shy. Everyone doesn't have to be as direct and well, just plain rude as some other guys I know". My love yelled and stormed out of the cafeteria. My she does have a temper. Everyone at the table she was occupying sat in shock. Their minds were devoid of any thoughts. It would have been an excellent parting moment if she hadn't had to come back for her bag. My poor angel.

Just as the bell was about to ring Alice told jasper that she wouldn't be coming home from school with us today. She said that she had made plans with her friends and that he should take the opportunity and go hunting. She was going to skip the rest of the day to hunt herself. He glanced at me curiously. I could only shrug; I had no idea what she was planning.

Bella was already in her seat when I arrived in biology. I took an unneeded breath before entering the room.

She was reading a note and her heart sputtered and then took off at a rate that I wasn't all together sure was healthy for a human. I stole a glance at her just to make sure that she was alright.

I noticed that her eyes were glistening with unshed tears mere seconds before one rolled down her lovely porcelain cheek. I wonder if my words touched her heart . Or if my declaration caused her some kind of pain. What I wouldn't give to hear her mind just once.

I watched the tingle tear as it drifted towards her jaw line. I longed to be able to wipe her tears away but I knew that the cold of my touch would repulse her.

That thought made me pause for a moment. What am I thinking? I can't court this perfect human sitting beside me. She would never care for a monster such as me. I couldn't go to this dance with her. I couldn't be her boyfriend I wasn't even a good friend for her. On the other hand I could never stand her up either. I was raised to be a gentleman.

More than that though I couldn't stand to think of my love standing outside waiting for someone that would never show up. I would gladly kill anyone who treated her that way including myself not htat that would be an easy task mind you. I truly do not know what to do now.

_Oh Edward, I know that you can hear me, don't make any rash decisions just come by Bella's house this evening. I promise you won't be disappointed._

I hope Alice has the answer. I should hunt to before I see Bella again.

I caught up to Alice after biology. She was still singing in her mind but at least it was in English.

"Are you going to tell me why I should go by Bella's tonight and what if anything that has to do with you not hunting with Jasper tonight?" I asked.

"Well if you must know I had a vision and that's why you should go to Bella's but don't knock just stay outside in the forest so that you can hear what happens inside. Now I think you wanted to know what my plans are for the evening correct?"

I nodded once curtly.

"Well dear brother I am going to do what you have done for the past two nights only she knows that I am going to be there she asked me to come. Or she will anyway." She was singing some random Disney song in her head.

I sighed. There is no stopping her when she is on a mission. I hope Bella knows what she's getting in to with Alice.

Good luck my luck you are going to need it.


	6. Chapter 6

**_Dislcaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn or Midnight Sun. I have read them many times over though and pride myself on being very knowledgable about the facts!_ **

**A/N: So, I got a review that really made me laugh. I want to share it with all of you and respond to it here since it wasn't a signed review. Then AFA's bodyguard (that's right this story has a bodyguard and she is someone you wouldn't want to mess with) sent me a PM with a few words that she had for the reviewer. Thanks for being patience here!**

**The review:**

**Umm hello did you read Twilight? Edward didn't fall in love with Bella until after that saturday date at the meadow. He told her that he was still unsure remember? So how does this story stay in character if he's already in love? I suggest you go read TWILIGHT again before adding anymore tob this story!**

**My response:**

**READ MIDNIGHT SUN! Then you can come and talk to me about the Twilight Timeline for Edward!**

**AFA's bodyguard's response:**

**The anonymous reviewer (Draven's Demon) should do their research and never pass judgment before they have all the information. And in MS it was clear that Edward was sure he was in love with her from the time he watched her sleep. Oh, and they should QUIT PICKING ON THE STORY BEFORE MY HEART COMES LOOKING FOR THE PERSON THAT BEAT IT UP! **

**Okay now that we have gotten that out of the way back to the story:**

* * *

"Why did you skip Spanish, Rey de Eduardo de las vírgenes?" Emmett yelled as I emerged from the woods behind the school.

"None of your business, emperador del gorila de los Imbéciles" I replied.

"Thanks bro, it's nice to know that you think I'm your emperor." Emmett boomed.

I gritted my teeth to keep from yelling at him and causing a scene.

"Just get in the car please, I have things to do today" I growled.

He and Rose slid into the backseat and Jasper slid into the passenger seat.

_What's up with Alice? I know you've seen her. I can smell her scent on your clothes. Why do you smell like my wife anyway?_

"She is spending the night with Bella and she hugged me before skipping off into the forest to hunt."

"What?" Rose yelled from behind me.

"I said that Alice is attending a sleep over at Bella's house tonight. She is hunting right now so that she can stay there with the human girls with worrying about her thirst." I explained.

"She is turning into as big a fool as you over this girl" Rose Retorted.

I sighed and shook my head. She would never understand.

I stopped in front of the house to let them out but Emmett slid into the front seat and closed the door.

"What do you want Emmett? I told you I have things to do today."

He smiled and gestured for me to proceed. I quirked an eyebrow at him.

"I am going with you" He smiled.

_I think that we need to have a talk since you are finally going to be a man tomorrow night_. He wiggled his eyebrows at me suggestively.

"Get out of the car Emmett" I said forcefully.

"I will as soon as we get to where we are going but in the meantime I really want to talk to you." He pouted.

"Fine Emmett, talk" I sighed defeated then turned the car around heading to the costume shop in Port Angeles.

"Alright now, I know that you don't have any dating history so I just need to gather a few facts before I proceed with your dating lesson for today." He said in a professional voice.

"What type of facts?" I asked through gritted teeth. I instantly knew I would regret asking because his answering smile was malicious.

"Have you ever held a girl's hand? Human or vampire?" He asked.

I cocked an eyebrow at him; this is not where I expected this to go.

"No" I said simply.

"Okay any kissing? And I don't mean any members of your family, again vampire or human."

I had to stop and think for a moment. I had kissed Bella on her forehead while she was sleeping but I didn't know if it would count. I decided to be honest.

"I'm not sure" I replied.

"Not sure? Come on it is a simply question Edward, have your lips ever touched any female other than someone in your family?" He asked exasperated by my response.

"Well, then yes I have kissed someone then but not on her lips." I cringed at the thoughts that were running through his head the moment those words left my mouth.

"Not like that Emmett, I kissed her forehead while she was sleeping." I sighed.

"Well, that's not any where near as fun as where I had imagined you kissing your human." He laughed.

"For the last time, her name is Bella" I all but yelled at him.

"Fine, now do you think that you would ever want to have sex with _Bella_?" He stressed her name.

"No, she is human." I snapped quickly.

"Okay so Bella's a human. Being a human doesn't restrict you from having sex and neither does being a vampire. So, why not go for it?"

"First of all, I won't 'go for it.' Second, you are completely disgusting. Third, Bella's too fragile."

He blocked his thoughts from me and stared off into the distance for a moment.

"Okay so I think I have enough information but I have just one more question. Who is a bigger prude you or Bella? If Bella doesn't want to be with you like that then we can have Alice talk to her. She can probably convince her. But if you're the issue, then..." He trailed off, blocking his thoughts again.

It was silent for a moment and then I couldn't take it anymore.

"What do you want? For me to walk up to her and say 'hi I know it's our fist date and all but let's go have sex. It will make my brother happy. What? You don't want to, well hold on a second let me get my sister to talk you into. No thank you Emmett" I fumed, trying not to grip my steering wheel hard enough to break it.

"No. But if there are no other options..."

"Emmett," I growled, warning him to drop it.

"Fine, but at least try to kiss her or something."

"You want me to go up to my very human date and just kiss her."

"You could, I mean what would it hurt?" Emmett responded as if I was serious.

"My venom and my teeth that's what could hurt her Emmett. Vampire, remember."

"You know you want to, so just do it." He is so infuriating sometimes.

"No, Emmett. I am not going to have sex with her, or kiss her "I said through my clenched teeth.

"At least not on our first date." I added under my breath hoping he wouldn't hear it.

No such luck. I was wondering if I'd ever not regret speaking to him at all.

"Ha! So you _do _want to have sex with her! Come find me once you're ready to lose your virginity. I can give you some tips." I didn't respond.

He got out of the car at the next red light and I continued on my way to get Bella's mask.

* * *

It was just after dark when I arrived at Bella's house. I made myself comfortable in a tree just inside the forest so that I could hear everything being said inside.

_Right on time Edward_. Alice thought as her laughter filled the air.

"I just don't believe anyone would give up so much to be with someone they love. It is ridiculous to think he'd give up heaven for love," my sister snorted.

That's right Alice Cullen snorted.

Why would she say that? I know that she would do anything for Jasper. Including giving up heaven. That is if she even had a shot at going there anyway.

"I feel the same way" Jessica Stanley agreed.

"You picked this movie" Angela looked at Jessica like she was stupid. She wasn't far off the mark there.

"I do have to agree though heaven is a huge price to pay for love." She added when every one looked at her.

"I only picked it to look at Nicholas Cage. He is so hot." Jessica started to imagine the actor naked and my mind quickly started to shut out the whole conversation.

I_ hope you're paying attention brother dear. This is why I asked you here._ Alice called snapping me back into focus.

"There is no price to high to pay for love. True love is very rare and I would gladly give up heaven to keep it. I'd even die for it, but I guess that puts me in the minority," my love blushed and then let a nervous giggle slip through her perfect lips.

"Sorry guys, I guess I've read a little too much Shakespeare."

They all laughed with her but I saw through Angela's eyes that Alice looked incredibly smug.

How about that Edward? Bella would die for love. She'd be fine without moving on as you call it. I guess that means that changing her wouldn't make her hate you after all.

"Alice, please don't start that again" I whispered knowing that she could hear me.

_Whatever Edward. I can see that you are going to go pout about this so just come back in about two hours. There is something else that I think you need to hear._

I sighed she was right. I was letting myself get angrier by the moment thinking of my angel wanting to give up heaven for a monster like me. She had no idea what she was talking about. I was no closer to figuring out if trying to be with her was the right thing or not.

I ran into the forest until I couldn't hear Alice's mind anymore and began pacing. I thought about what I had heard. Is love truly enough to reason to give up your soul?

No, I couldn't ask her to do that. I am monster. I don' really know if she even cares for me yet.

She steals glances at me and her heart beats faster when I am around but that could be from fear. I decided that I would go back to her house to hear what ever else Alice wanted me to hear and then I would go home and play my piano. It always helped me sort out my thoughts and feelings.

Chief Swan was at home when I got back so I had to relocate to another tree since he could potentially see me from his bedroom window if I were to take up my previous position.

I sat under the living room window this time and I could hear the humans breathing and their heartbeats from here. I occupied my mind by trying to distinguish Bella's heart from the others. I found this remarkably easy to do. I smiled to myself. I started listening for her breathing pattern just as Jessica started to talk.

"So Bella, I bet you'd love the beast wouldn't you? I mean if you'd be willing to give up heaven for love then surely you wouldn't mind dating a monster." She sneered.

"Absolutely" Bella chimed. I was beyond words. "I'd love him. He didn't ask for that life. He is still a man deep down. Besides, it's what's in your heart that makes you a monster, not your circumstances." She was flustered by the end of her rant and I almost expected her to stick her tongue out at Jessica.

_Ha! Ha! Ha! I told you! She will love you no matter what Edward. So get over yourself and just let things progress like they're supposed to._

I smiled in spite of myself. I reminded myself to never bet against Alice again.

The girls decided to change for bed once the movie was over so I quietly said my goodbyes to my sister then headed home with more hope in my heart than I ever believed

possible.

I spent the night playing my piano. I thought about the things that transpired earlier. Is it possible that Bella could accept me for what I am and not judge me? I'd like to think so. I let my love for her take over my mind and suddenly the song I was playing morphed.

It became softer more peaceful. It was powerful and timid at the same time. It was beautiful and perfect.

It was my Bella. It was a lullaby for her. I let the melody progress to the end and smiled as it drifted off into sweetly. I hoped that one day I would be able to play it for her.

* * *

Around eight o'clock Esme came downstairs. She had blueprints under her arm and was heading for the garden.

_Would you care to join me son?_

I nodded and followed her outside.

We sat on the ground by a large birch tree. She spread out her plans and asked me for my opinions. I looked them over with her noticing that they were for the house in Alaska. She was planning on a remodel so that it would be modernized for the next time we moved there.

I spent the entire morning and much of the afternoon helping Esme and talking with Jasper when he returned from his hunt. The only break I took was to call the limo service to insure that everything was ready for my Bella.

Jasper offered a few words of advise about the dance tonight.

"I know that you are nervous about tonight and that is normal. Everyone is on their first date. Just relax and be yourself. Just try to keep you thirst and your temper in check and you'll do fine."

His phone rang and he left to go pick Alice up from Bella's house. I really didn't want to deal with my sister's smug attitude right now so I rushed to get ready for the ball and drove over to the school. I met the limo driver there and gave him Bella's mask and his instructions on how he should act when he picked Bella up.

There was nothing left to do but wait for her to arrive so I sat in my car listening to Debussy praying to what ever deity would listen to me that tonight went well.

**Only one chapter left! I hope that everyone has read SA already so that they know Bella's side to this story. If not then, well I guess I should prepare you for some serious angst from Edward! The boy sure knows how to be all dark and broody! AND OH SO SEXY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hello everyone I am back! I know it's been five days since I updated and I'm sorry. I do have something I'd like to share. I am excited to say that a friend, x-helloelo-x, has started to translate the counterpart of this story into French. It is posted on her profile, so if you can read French you can go check it out! **

**Oh and for those of you who are looking for a nice one-shot head over to obessedovredward's profile. She has an awesome poem that is set around the end of New Moon! It's called Love's Sweet Reunion. It is beautiful! Take the time to read A Very Merry Cullen Christmas while your there. It is great! This will sadly be the last chapter of Admired From Afar. I have a one shot that I am going to write after this, it will be in the Harry Potter universe. **

**I have a friend who wants to be in one of my stories but he wants to be a pirate wizard and that certainly doesn't fit into the Twilight universe so I will write that and then it is on to the sequels! I am already planning DF's Sequel and the sequel to this and SA! I am going to be posting them both simultaneously. So enough chit chat, here is chapter 7! Enjoy!**

* * *

I gave the drive enough time to get to Bella's house before I got out of my car and made my way over to stand by the doors awaiting my lovely date. I was anxious and nervous but more excited than anything. Bella would be arriving in just a few moments and then I would get to hold her in my arms for the next two hours. It will be heaven.

Unless she changes her mind and doesn't come. No! Alice would have told me if that were the case. She could have though couldn't she. No, because I stupidly left the house so I didn't

have to face her and I left my phone at home so that Emmett would be able to call and harass me with his crude 'tips' for my date.

It's taking too long. She should be here by now. She's not coming. Maybe when she discovered it was me she was repulsed by the fact. Did she secretly want Newton or Crowley to be

her date? Surely not, she didn't seem to prefer any of the adolescents in this school but who am I to question her preferences?

I am not her boyfriend. I am simply on of the many here who adore her. Though my adoration was a thousand time more pure than the others. They didn't know the first thing about the

real Bella. Each one of them had created their own fantasy of her in their heads and they admired that.

_What's Cullen doing here? None of them ever show up at school dances. If he knows what's good for him he better not be waiting her Bella. She is mine._

Newton. Tonight was going to really test my resolve. I may have to relax my morals and kill the insipid little boy. I blocked out his thoughts to try to keep myself from doing something that

I may or may not regret and focused on the angel that should be arriving any moment.

I saw Ben Cheney pull up. He was helping Angela Weber out of his car when I saw it. Bella's limo pulled into the parking lot and the most beautiful woman I had ever seen stepped out of

it. I was in complete awe of her beauty. I found myself smiling and my unnecessary breath hitched as she got closer. Her scent washed over me as she blushed a sweet petal pink color.

Her breathing was uneven and her heart was pounding as her eyes met mine and I found myself hypnotized by her. I couldn't speak. My hand reached out for hers by its own volition.

The gym was lit up to resemble an evening in the park and I was captivated by the way the twinkle lights reflected off Bella's hair. She looked around the gym and gasped when she

looked at the faux night sky on the ceiling. I chuckled at her excitement.

"It's beautiful," she whispered.

I couldn't contain my happiness and I let the first thing that came into my find slide right out.

"No where near as beautiful as you," I responded honestly.

She blushed a wonderful scarlet color and looked up into my eyes. I was once again trapped by her shimmering brown eyes. I couldn't look away. The intensity of the moment was

palpable. I was her captive. I had to do something to free myself so I spoke.

"You didn't seem surprised that it was me waiting for you. When exactly did you figure out it was me?" I was hoping that she knew all along. I knew from listening in on her conversations

with Angela that she had hoped it was me and that made me smile. Maybe my morose mood earlier was for nothing.

"Well, I hoped it was you from the first clue." I smiled by best smile for her. I had already known this but to hear her say it to me was wonderful. She hesitated before going any further.

"Um, well, I didn't know for sure that it was you until the one about us ignoring each other," she said quietly.

I ran down the list of clues in my head and stopped before I got to the clue she had mentioned. I had given her the clue that I had held her before that, so either she had them out of

order or someone else had held her. No, she knew the order of the clues because she had discussed each one with her friend. So, someone else was holding her. I couldn't look at her

right now. I knew that she would see the pain in my eyes.

"What? What did I say?" she asked in a meek voice.

I couldn't tell her that she shattered my heart. I forced my voice to sound even.

"Nothing Bella. I'm sorry; I really am not a good friend for you." I would make it seem as though I didn't want her as my friend so that she wouldn't feel any guilt for hurting my feelings.

She was so selfless and I knew that she would be hurt by hurting me.

"I should stay away from you. It seems you have enough friends anyway." I had to leave. I couldn't be near her now. My heart was breaking.

"Wait, please!" she called. She sounded choked up.

She was already feeling guilty. I just shook my head. There was no way that I would show her this pain. She was too much of an angel to be subjected to a monster anyway.

It was better for her this way.

I tore out of the gym and way in the Volvo before I knew it. I caught the thoughts of Alice as I pulled out of the parking lot but I didn't have the patience to deal with her right now.

I had to concentrate on not crushing the steering wheel. I was hurt and angry. I should have known better. A monster like me could never hold the interest of an angel like Bella.

I am a fool. I refused to allow myself to break down while driving. I debated where to go.

I began to drive towards the house but I knew that Em and Rose were there and I really didn't know if I could control my temper with them so I turned around and headed towards the

only place that gave me any solitude: my meadow.

I parked to car on the side of the road and ran at top speed.

I slammed myself down on the ground and gave into the pain. I sobbed for what I had lost. I was so stupid. Of course Bella already had a boyfriend. How could someone so perfect be

alone? I want kill whoever held her heart, I want to rip his head off, but I know that I can't because if he is good enough to be loved by her then she should be allowed to do so. I would

just have to leave Forks. There is no way in hell that I could sit back and watch the only woman to ever touch my heart be with another man. I wanted to scream and break something.

I wanted to destroy something the way I had been destroyed.

I jumped up and ran into the forest. I ripped up a tree and threw it against another causing them both to careen into a boulder and smash it into dust. I roared in my pain. I felt no relief

in my release. I went back to the meadow to lie down. I just wanted to be alone.

_Edward Cullen you are an absolute moron. You better not try to run either mister I saw you trying to get away before I get there and I swear that I will have Jazzy and Em hold you while __I rip you to pieces if you move._

Well, I guess Alice wants to speak with me. I have to admit I did think of running when I heard her.

A few moments later she appeared at the edge of the meadow.

"What did you do?" she yelled.

"Nothing"

"Then why is my little sister crying her eyes out?" she demanded as she showed me an image of Bella crying outside of the gym.

"She is just feeling guilty that she hurt me, Alice. She is just a selfless person and loathes the idea of anyone being in pain because of her." I sighed.

"You are such an idiot Edward. Let's go back so that you can fix this. She needs you. And she loves you the way you love her. Oh no, don't give me that crap. You are coming with me

whether you like it or not. I will not let you ruin your life and Bella's. She is going to be my sister and my best friend. Not to mention that she is I don't know, YOUR SOULMATE!!!!"

She yelled. I started to stand so that I could leave but she grabbed my arm and began dragging me back towards the car.

"I told you not to start that crap Edward. Do you ever listen?" She said frustrated.

I heard her heart beat as we came to the edge of the woods. Alice brought her here. Why?

Bella stepped out of the car looking at the ground. Alice flitted to her side and kissed her cheek.

"Bye Bella, I will see you soon. Later, Edward." Don't mess this up. I really will rip your head off.

She showed me a vision of her dismembering me. I shuddered. She jumped into Rose's car and sped off. I was alone with Bella.

I continued to stare at her but she never looked up. I finally couldn't bear not hearing what was going on in that beautiful mind of hers. Why did she come here with Alice?

Was she really so selfless that she would come all the way here just to comfort a monster? I had to know. I gathered me strength and asked.

"What are you thinking?" just as she blurted out "would you say something?"

She took a deep breath.

"I was wondering why you left the dance. What did I do? Alice thinks you have some ridiculous idea that I have a secret boyfriend or something like that. You know that's crazy right?

In fact, I've never had a boyfriend. I never even wanted one until I met you." She was flushed from her little rant and shivering. She was so beautiful standing there. So sweet to be trying to let me down easy.

I laughed once without humor.

If you don't have someone then why didn't you know right away that it was me? Evidently there is someone holding you by their side right? You know what never mind. Just forget it,

I'm sorry. Let me take you home, it's cold out here and I don't think your boyfriend would like it if you got sick."

She started to laugh at me. Not that I could blame her, I was a pathetic excuse for a vampire.

"Oh Edward, really? That's why you're upset. Honestly we have a lot to discuss but first you are right it is cold out here. I'd like to get somewhere warm but not home just yet if you don't

mind." The color on her cheeks was beyond lovely. I didn't say anything I simply led her back to the Volvo. I opened the door for her and she slid into the passenger seat.

She looked like she belonged there. But alas she isn't mine to keep.

I made my way around to the driver's side and started the car. I turned the heat on so that she would be warm and my muscles immediately coiled to spring. Her scent washed over me

and it was pure torture. Heaven and Hell mixed in a perfect balance. I took a deep breath to acclimate myself to it.

"Where would you like to go?" I asked through my teeth. I was afraid to open my mouth. I didn't know if I could control myself completely.

"I don't really know or care." She stated.

She hesitated for a moment.

"I'd like to explain about being held if I can" she asked timidly.

I wasn't sure if I could stand hearing this but I had to know so I nodded once and she sighed.

"Well you see I've never been what you'd call coordinated and well, I guess you've never seen me in gym. I fall down a lot." She blushed roses again and dropped her gaze to her lap.

Where is she going with this?"You see, Mike always volunteers to be my partner and he ends up holding me up a lot so I don't do ace plants everyday." Newton.

I growled under my breath to low for her to hear.

"I was afraid that it was him or that maybe it was a practical joke. I was also afraid to believe it was you. I didn't want to get my hopes up just to get them crushed because part of my

brain was yelling out at me that you really did hate me." She whispered the last part and lifted her gaze to meet mine. I was in awe. She thought I hated her. Really? She was afraid to

believe it was me? She didn't want it to be anyone else.

"What?" she asked breaking me from my thoughts.

"I don't like the idea of Newton touching you. It makes me angry." I confessed. I smiled sadly at her. This confession was hard.

"I assure you that this is in no way a joke for me. And just so you know I do not hate you; it's just the opposite actually.

The next words out of her mouth surprised me yet again.

"Frankly, I don't like it either." She smiled and chuckled nervously.

So, um you don't hate me? You did mean all of the things that you've been saying in the notes this week then?"

There was no way that I could lie to my angel when she had been so honest with me. I turned to face her full on and spoke the words from my heart.

Yes, I meant every word. I know I shouldn't, God help me I've tried not to but I can't deny it anymore Bella. I love you, no more that that I adore you." Words could not describe the fear,

elation, and love that coursed through me as I professed my love to her.

She sat just staring at me for an immeasurable amount of time. He face was one of pure shock so I couldn't tell what her reaction to my confession would be.

To be able to read her mind would be splendid.

"Please say something." I implored her. "Anything, tell me what you're thinking. I didn't mean to scare you. I'll take you home." I rushed through the words.

I wouldn't make her stay with me and be uncomfortable.

"Edward, I'm not scared and I don't want to go home. What I'd like to do is go back to the school. You see the man that I'm in love with has been sending me anonymous notes all week

professing his love to me and I need to get back so I can feel him hold me close as we dance."

Isabella Maris Swan just said that she was in love with me. Before I could stop myself I took her soft small hand in mine and kissed it. The feel of her skin on mine was pure bliss.

I couldn't believe it. I know that things aren't perfect and that I am keeping a deadly secret that she can never know but for now I would allow myself the joy of being close to the woman

I love. I sped off towards the school unable to wait to hold her in my arms and twirl her around the dance floor.

Tonight I am not a soulless vampire, no tonight I am simply a man in love.

**A/N: There it is the end of the story. I hope that you have all enjoyed it. Please review and let me know what you think!**


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